Updated: Nov 22, 2022
"Don't let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace." – Pema Chödrön
By creating space to be, we begin to heal.
Inexorably, along the path, we encounter obstacles that make it challenging to let go of old patterns and habits that are necessary to grow and heal. These tend to be habits that produce negative results, including triggers as well as methods we use to escape uncomfortable experiences and emotions.
How do we prevent old patterns from surfacing in moments of challenge or less than marginal mental states of health?
And when those few individuals who inevitably pop up in life and remind us of our old ways of thinking and doing things, what practice can be implemented to prevent a pattern from becoming unruly?
To be frank- Being blamed repeatedly can be either the most masterful guru in disguise or a tremendous hindrance along the path of self-mastery.
And it truly is a choice in how we want to view ourselves in the situation that triggers old patterns. So, for example, we can ask ourselves, "am I going to show up for myself? Or am I going to war?"
It has been said that guilt and blame are useless emotions, and I agree. It is a futile attempt at trying to gain control of the situation and simultaneously avoid uncomfortable emotions. It is equally meaningless to believe in the other person's narrative, which stems from their program and has no bearing on you.
Negative experiences inevitably occur, making it incredibly reasonable to show up for ourselves even if no one else will. And yet, very few of us do show up for ourselves with love, kindness, awareness, and acceptance.
We may find that we pull ourselves out of the storm by going into it head-on with courage, efficacy, and love. Then, we could see that we have the ability to pull ourselves and others into peace.
Growth and change are challenging enough and can seem unfathomable when others do not support or recognize this step forward. Go forward anyway. The universe gives you permission.
I'm curious, how do you generate resiliency when faced with a situation where you feel arrows are being thrown at you?
What I find to be most helpful is allowing myself a lot of space to feel without any judgment of my emotional experience. Because ultimately, how the world thinks about me does not matter at all. What matters is how I think of myself and whether I will disengage or go to war, and the choice is always mine.
And every day, we can choose to walk lightly with our experience, knowing we are human and make mistakes. As we are, this truth can help us practice letting go and learning to give everyone a break, especially ourselves.
Still, we can also regard what we feel as wisdom and recognize that feeling as showing us the way to freedom. And freedom only exists in the minds of those who know what it means to show up for themselves and dare to turn a tempest to into a state of tranquility.